It's Scary to Be Vulnerable
Let’s be honest, being vulnerable is uncomfortable. It makes us feel exposed, like we’ve let down the polished guard we work so hard to maintain. A nagging little voice whispers, “Are you sharing too much?” or “Is this too personal for a work setting?” And sometimes, that voice wins. But here’s the truth: vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength, especially in leadership.
I’ll admit, early in my career, I believed professionalism meant keeping a certain distance. I was friendly and supportive. But I didn’t share much about myself with my team, especially not my doubts or misgivings. I feared it would make me appear less competent or in control.
That belief was challenged during a major financial reporting system implementation I was leading. The stakes were high, and the pressure intense, and while I had a competent and capable team around me, I kept my concerns close to the chest. I didn’t want to burden them or, worse, make them question my confidence in the project.
Then one evening, over dinner with a consultant on the project, she told me something simple but powerful, and that was that I might get further with the team and the project if I let them see a bit more of me. I paused. I wasn’t sure what she meant at first. But then she explained that being vulnerable, being real, could make me more relatable. More human. That’s when it clicked.
So, I tried it. I shared with the team that I had some concerns about the timeline and our ability to get it all done by the deadline. I let them know I didn’t have all the answers, but that we would figure it out. By doing this, I created an environment where they could also share their concerns. Admitting you aren’t sure about something allows you to think freely about the solutions and brings back confidence. Being vulnerable allows your team to do this, and who would not want that?
Here’s why vulnerability matters in leadership: it builds trust. When you show your team that you’re human, with doubts and imperfections just like everyone else, you permit them to be honest too. And in that space of honesty, real connection happens. Real teamwork happens, and real progress is made.
Of course, vulnerability doesn’t mean airing every personal detail or turning team meetings into therapy sessions. However, let’s say something significant has happened in your personal life; in some cases, it is okay to share that with your team. It lets them know that your life is not perfect either. It will help them to understand if you are a little distracted or quieter than normal. They will most likely be rooting for you if not publicly than privately, and who doesn’t need more support in times of trial?
Yes, being vulnerable is scary. But being vulnerable doesn’t diminish your leadership; it deepens it. It reminds everyone, including yourself, that you don’t have to be perfect to be powerful.
So, the next time you hesitate to share a worry or a moment of doubt, remember you’re not weakening your leadership, you’re strengthening your team. Do you want to change your leadership style to incorporate a bit of vulnerability? Book a free session and we can talk!