I Hate Conflict
It's common to hear or say, "I hate conflict!" We are often conditioned to believe that conflict is inherently negative and should be avoided at all costs. This perception might stem from the very definition of conflict, which includes "to come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash" and "to fight or contend; do battle" (Dictonary.com). However, what happens when we avoid conflict, and how can we leverage it to our advantage?
The Negative Impacts of Conflict Avoidance
When issues are ignored, they don't simply disappear; they worsen. Unaddressed concerns can lead to:
Simmering resentment
Decreased morale
A breakdown in trust
Employees feeling unheard and undervalued, potentially causing disengagement and reduced productivity
Suboptimal outcomes due to crucial decisions being made without considering diverse viewpoints
Stifled innovation, as people become hesitant to challenge the status quo or offer dissenting opinions
We've all witnessed the consequences, such as a key employee quitting, a heated argument, or the loss of an important client, all stemming from unresolved conflict.
The Benefits of Constructive Conflict
Conflict can be highly beneficial when approached constructively. Healthy conflict encourages diverse perspectives and critical thinking. It compels us to examine our assumptions and consider alternative solutions. When individuals feel safe expressing differing opinions, it leads to improved decision-making and a deeper understanding of complex issues. Successfully navigating disagreements builds resilience and strengthens trust among individuals. Furthermore, conflict can be a catalyst for identifying inefficiencies, challenging outdated processes, and fostering innovation. Ultimately, productive conflict contributes to personal, professional, and organizational growth.
How to Embrace Conflict
How can we train ourselves to embrace conflict?
Reframe your perception: See conflict as simply a difference of opinion, not a personal attack.
Take a break if needed: If you feel agitated or anxious in the moment, it's okay to take a timeout. You can say, "I need to think about this. Can we discuss later today?" This distance allows you to process the conflict and plan your approach.
Return with a productive mindset: Once you're ready, acknowledge the difference of opinion and express your desire to work through it to find a better solution.
Listen actively: Ask questions and listen patiently with the goal of finding a reasonable compromise or solution.
While conflict often carries a negative connotation, avoiding it can lead to significant problems within an organization and personally. By reframing our perspective, taking necessary breaks, and engaging in active, patient listening, we can transform conflict into a powerful tool for growth, innovation, and stronger relationships. Embrace conflict as an opportunity for progress, not an obstacle to be avoided. Do you need help building your conflict resolution muscle? Book a free session via my website. I would love to help you!