The Power of the Goldilocks Rule
In my ongoing pursuit of being the best coach I can be for my clients, I am always learning. Recently, I finished reading Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear. I read the book because many of my clients struggle with the same challenge: starting good habits and stopping bad ones. Even when they genuinely want change, they find themselves stuck. This book provides a practical, research-based framework, and I highly recommend it to anyone seeking lasting improvement.
One concept captured my attention: the Goldilocks Rule.
Clear explains, “The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities.”¹ Not too easy. Not too difficult. Just right. He also points out that even good habits can become boring over time. When that happens, it is easy to go through the motions or allow the habit to weaken. The Goldilocks Rule provides a way to sustain both the habit and continued improvement.
Let me share an example from my own life. If you have read my blog before, you know that I attend a boot camp class at my gym. It is a habit I am proud of maintaining. However, there is one exercise where I tend to “modify,” and that exercise is burpees. I still do them, but not wholeheartedly. I cheat a little. I am moving, but not pushing myself to my full capability.
Applying the Goldilocks Rule means pushing just a little bit more. So that is what I have been doing. I have been committing to more complete burpees. The difference is not dramatic, but it is meaningful. I feel more engaged and I know I am improving.
This principle applies just as powerfully in leadership. Consider a leader who has the excellent habit of holding regular one-on-one meetings with their team members. This is a strong leadership practice that builds connection and ensures alignment. However, over time, these meetings can become routine.
Applying the Goldilocks Rule, the leader elevates the habit slightly. Instead of simply reviewing work, they begin asking one deeper question, such as, “What is one obstacle you are facing right now?” or “How can I better support you?”
This small adjustment stretches the leader just enough. It requires more listening and more intentionality. The result is greater trust, stronger engagement, and more effective leadership. The habit itself did not need to change. It simply needed to be elevated.
Clear writes, “At some point, success requires you to upgrade your habits.”² This is where meaningful growth happens, not in dramatic overhauls, but in small, intentional improvements.
Whether in our health, our leadership, or our businesses, the key is to continually stretch just beyond our current comfort level. If you are feeling stuck, ready to strengthen your habits, or looking to elevate your leadership or business, I invite you to reach out to me. Together, we can identify the right next step, one that is challenging enough to move you forward and achievable enough to sustain lasting change.
References
¹ Clear, James. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Avery, 2018, p. 237.
² Clear, James. Atomic Habits, 2018, p. 238.