Well, That Was a Surprise
I recently had a medical surprise. I went to the ENT because my voice had been raspy for months. I had convinced myself it was allergies. I expected the doctor to confirm my self-diagnosis, prescribe something simple, and send me on my way. Instead, he told me my right vocal cord was paralyzed.
Well, that was a surprise.
Now, the good news is that it is fixable. But in that moment, the word paralyzed stopped me cold. My brain immediately started racing ahead, making it sound worse than it was. I had to deliberately slow myself down, listen carefully, and make sure I understood what he was actually saying, not what I feared he meant.
So I focused. I repeated back what I heard to confirm I understood the diagnosis and the plan. I asked questions. I paid attention. And after the procedure, when my voice improved for a few days and then began to slip back again, I contacted the doctor right away. I did not delay. I did not second-guess myself. I did not decide to “wait and see” for another six months. I am now going in for another procedure.
That experience reminded me of another surprise, one that was far less dramatic, but still meaningful.
About a year ago, I met a business owner who was interested in my emotional intelligence assessment and coaching services. We completed an assessment and a session, he sent me a referral, and he was energized about the possibility of partnering with me. For business reasons, he asked to wait a few months before moving forward. I felt really encouraged.
A few months later, as agreed, I reached back out. Another surprise. He decided not to proceed and gave no explanation. I thanked him for getting back to me quickly and left it at that.
Looking back, I handled these two surprises very differently, and I do not think I should have.
With the vocal cord diagnosis, I leaned in, and I asked questions. I made sure I understood. I followed up quickly when something changed.
With the business opportunity, I pulled back, and I did not ask what had changed. I did not seek to understand the circumstances. I did not ask the uncomfortable question because I was afraid of the answer.
That was a mistake.
If there was something I did that created an obstacle, I should have asked. Maybe it would not have changed the outcome with that client, but perhaps it would have helped me with the next one. And maybe I did nothing wrong at all. By not asking, I left room for negative self-talk to creep in and write a story that may not have been true.
That is the lesson for me. Always ask the hard question.
Ask the one that makes you uncomfortable. Ask the one you are tempted to avoid because you are afraid of what you might hear. Clarity is almost always better than assumption, and feedback, even when it stings, is usually more useful than silence.
And one more lesson? When something does not seem right, do not wait six months to get expert advice (😊).
Sometimes the surprise is not the diagnosis or the rejection.
Sometimes the real surprise is what it has to teach us.