What Happened to my Positivity?
I have always considered myself a positive person. I tend to see the glass as half full, while still maintaining a healthy respect for reality. I am not someone who believes positivity means ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. In fact, I believe true positivity acknowledges difficulty while still believing there is a path forward. That mindset has served me well throughout my life. It has carried me through difficult projects, challenging people, stressful situations, and uncertain circumstances.
However, lately, I have experienced a few trials and tribulations. One of them has been my ongoing voice therapy struggles, which I have written about before. There have also been several other challenges that I will keep private. None of them alone seemed overwhelming, but collectively they began to wear on me.
One day at the gym, my coach asked how I was doing. I admitted that I felt like I was dragging. What confused me was that nothing external had really changed. I was getting enough sleep. My diet was good. I was drinking enough water. I could not quite put my finger on why I felt slower and unable to complete the same number of reps as usual.
The next time I was there, it dawned on me. My outlook had become negative, and it was affecting my energy and motivation. Even more concerning, that negativity had transformed into negative self-talk in several areas of my life.
Have you ever experienced this?
Sometimes negativity does not arrive dramatically. It slowly settles in and eventually begins to feel normal. You assume feeling discouraged, cynical, or defeated is simply “the way you are” at the moment.
For me, the first step was recognizing I was in a negative rut. Ironically, someone else noticed it before I fully did. That simple question, “How are you doing?” caused me to pause. If someone close to you unexpectedly checks in on you, consider it an invitation to become more introspective. Do not automatically respond with, “I’m fine.” Take a moment to honestly evaluate how you are really doing.
Awareness alone may be enough to begin shifting your mindset. But sometimes you need to go a step further.
For me, that meant changing my internal dialogue.
I began paying attention to the stories I was telling myself throughout the day. Thoughts like, “I’m having a bad day, so I’m not even going to try,” had become surprisingly common. Once I noticed them, I started intentionally replacing them.
Instead of saying, “Today was terrible,” I reframed it to, “Today was more challenging than I expected, but it is behind me now.”
The other thing I did was acknowledge to a few trusted people that I was struggling and needed support, even if only in the form of holding positive thoughts for me while I worked to regain my positivity. Sometimes we convince ourselves we have to work through difficult situations entirely on our own. But there is strength in allowing trusted people to encourage us and help us regain perspective when we temporarily lose it ourselves.
Shifting your mindset from negative to positive takes practice. It does not happen overnight. But positivity is often rebuilt one thought, one decision, and one small reframing at a time.
And sometimes, it begins simply by admitting that your mindset needs as much care and attention as the rest of you.