Get Out of Your Head
I was recently playing pickleball in an advanced beginner league. For the most part, the players are at about the same level. Some are slightly better, some slightly less experienced, but overall, the games are competitive.
There is, however, one woman who is head and shoulders above many of the other players. Maybe she is more than an “advanced beginner”?
Anyway, my partner and I played against her and her partner and lost 11–1. It was embarrassing.
Then, in the very next game, she was my partner. Almost immediately, I started telling myself a story.
She is not going to want to be my partner.
She probably thinks I am not very good.
I need to make sure I don’t mess this up.
And just like that, I was in my head. Instead of simply playing the game, I was thinking about how I was playing the game. I became tentative. I second guessed shots. I worried about making mistakes. And, not surprisingly, I did not play my best.
Unfortunately, this does not just happen on the pickleball court. It happens in business all the time. How do you know when you are getting in your own head?
First, analysis paralysis. You have analyzed a situation to death, but you still cannot make the decision. You tell yourself, If I just had one more piece of data, I would feel comfortable. You pick up the analysis, review it again, put it back down, and repeat the process. At some point, more analysis is not improving the decision. It is simply delaying it.
Second, you catastrophize. Suddenly, one difficult decision has enormous consequences. If I make the wrong decision, my customers will leave. The company will be irreparably harmed. My best employees will leave for a competitor. Your mind has taken a reasonable business risk and turned it into a disaster movie.
Finally, you second guess yourself, then third guess and fourth guess yourself. You made a decision based on good information and sound judgment, but you keep reopening it.
None of these thought patterns are particularly helpful. So, how do you get back on track?
Step back and ask yourself, Did I consider the most important variables? If the answer is yes, you may be done. Perfect information does not exist.
When you find yourself catastrophizing, think about major decisions you have made in the past that did not go exactly as planned. What happened? How did you respond? Did the horrible outcome you imagined actually occur? Chances are, you adjusted and moved forward.
And if you continue to second guess yourself, talk it through with a trusted advisor. Sometimes saying your concerns out loud is enough to put them back into perspective.
In the end, not making a decision is making a decision.
There is risk in almost everything worthwhile that we do. At some point, you have to trust your process, your experience, and your history of figuring things out.
And then, get out of your head and play the game.