Can You Really Control Your Emotions?
That may be a question better suited for a psychologist than a coach. However, what I do know, from both personal experience and from working with clients, is this: while we may not be able to control the arrival of emotions, we can control how we redirect them and how much influence we allow them to have. That distinction matters.
Redirecting Emotions, Not Denying Them
Controlling emotions does not mean ignoring, hiding, or pretending they do not exist. It means acknowledging what we feel and deciding what to do next. The first step is awareness.
When I recognize what I am feeling, disappointment, frustration, or anxiety, I pause. By pausing, I can choose whether I need to sit with the emotion or redirect it.
For example, if I am disappointed with the outcome of a conversation, I do not have to stay disappointed. I can think through the why behind the disappointment. Was my expectation realistic? Was I clear in what I was asking for? Was the timing off?
Once I understand the source, I can determine my next step, if there is one. That next step might be having another conversation with the same individual, but approaching it differently. Or it might be adjusting my expectations and letting the issue go.
This is not suppression. It is regulation.
Controlling Your Reactions So They Do Not Control You
We often lose momentum not because of what happens, but because of how we react to what happens.
Unchecked reactions can derail goals and damage relationships. Regulating our response allows us to stay aligned with our intent.
This is not about being unemotional. It is about being intentional with our reaction.
By controlling my reaction, I do not allow a situation to hijack my purpose. I stay grounded. I keep conversations constructive. I preserve common ground and protect relationships that matter.
Controlling What You Consume
This is the area where control is clearest, and often most overlooked.
I can stay informed about current events without constantly scrolling headlines or leaving the news on in the background all day. I can choose how much exposure is enough.
I can also choose not to scroll through social media endlessly, filling my head with information that does little to serve me (this is hard for me).
What we consume shapes how we think, how we feel, and how we respond. Being intentional here is not about disengaging from the world. It is about protecting mental and emotional bandwidth.
Control, Reframed
Control is often misunderstood as rigidity or dominance. In reality, it is about self-management.
I may not control every outcome, but I can control how I process it, how I respond to it, and what I allow to influence me.
If you find yourself feeling emotionally hijacked by situations, conversations, or information overload, you are not alone. Many capable, thoughtful people struggle not because they lack discipline, but because they have never been taught how to regulate emotions, reactions, and inputs in a way that supports their goals.
If you would like space to talk through what you are experiencing, clarify what is truly within your control, and identify practical ways to redirect energy rather than expend it, I invite you to schedule a discovery session with me.
Sometimes the most productive next step is having the right conversation.